 His legacy |
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Nic was my son and my rock
I sit here, pondering my life as it is now ...
My son, the boy who became the man who became my best friend and my rock, is gone from this world. He was taken from me just as he was beginning to see his life evolve to a place he had longed to reach for so long. He was there ...
...and now he is gone.
But all is not lost. For he lives now - forever 22 and laughing - in my heart. The really cool thing is that HE showed me how to do that - he showed me how to be a Dad.
When Nic was born, I was terrified. I had no idea how to parent. I was so afraid I would screw it up so bad. And I did. So many times...
But Nic was always there - there with that big, goofy grin - always there to show me the way out of my fear (and occassional stupidity). And every time I had messed up being a Dad so bad, he was there to hug me and tell me that it was ok, that he still loved me and that I was still his Dad. And he made sure that I knew that and that he was not going to accept anything else from me.
The night he died, he came to my house and had dinner with me. We chatted for awhile and then he stood up to leave. "Goin' to play pool with some friends - be back later..." he said. Then, out of the clear blue, with no warning and in a way unique to my son, he grabbed me and said (with that big, goofy grin...)
"Give your son a hug."
I did, he left and that was that.
Even on his last day he was teaching me the lessons of love only a son can teach. Hug your parents.
So that is the legacy of my son - hug your parents. Never give up on them even when they are being as dumb as a box of rocks.
And always have a big, goofy grin on - it is amazing the power it holds.
Thanks Nic. Thanks for caring enough to not lose patience and for teaching me how to be a Dad.
I Love You
Dad
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Nic's Legacy, through his mom's eye's
Oh Nic, you were just becoming the incredible man that I always knew you would be. I will try to carry on your gentle spirit especially with the children that I work with everyday at Maywood Elementary.
I received a letter from a teacher of the children that you tutored at Yahara Elementary School while you were still in high school. She said that you were always very helpful and pleasant and the kids really enjoyed having you come and spend time with them. She even remembered that you especially enjoyed drawing pictures with the kids. She then wrote that she will always remember you.
I'll never forget your humor, but that was a talent that was unique to you. You will always bring a smile to the face of those who remember your humor, your laugh and your seemingly impossible physical antics. You could sound like and even look like anyone that you chose to copy. Such a gift. You are, and always will be, the funniest person that I have ever known.
Your music will live on in all those that you taught so patiently over the years or in those that were fortunate enough to hear or see you perform. Such a talented guitar player and such a moving singing voice, when you weren't screaming out the hard rock/heavy metal tunes.
One of the remarkable things about your guitar playing is that you taught yourself. You were given a guitar and taught 5 or 6 cords and you took to that instrument as if you were born to play it, as if the guitar was designed with just you in mind. And you played with such passion.
When you weren't working or out and about with friends or family, you were playing the guitar. Teaching yourself new songs everyday. Such dedication, such passion, such an amazing person, such an incredible loss.
For all of these things and so much more Nic, you will never be forgotten.
These words feel so inadequate, but I love you and I will love you forever.
Mom
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