25 Years  / Dad

It was 25 years ago yesterday that you came into my life. I remember the first time I saw you - all wrapped in blankets with that jet black hair sticking out. God - you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

True story - In December of 2006, I went to Dallas to pick up a new helicopter from a completion center and flew it back to Allegheny County Airport near Pittsburgh. I left Dallas around 10 AM (about two hours later than I wanted to...) and flew to Little Rock, Arkansas. Refueled there and then it was on to Owensboro, Kentucky for my second fuel stop. I left there and was direct to AGC. After passing Cincinnati, I did a quick fuel comsumption calculation and thought "hey, I can make it to AGC no problem...". So I passed my next fuel stop and was feeling pretty good...

...Then my AHRS failed. No autopilot. Then I noted that the GPS showed a headwind...not good. Then the weather started to turn sour...REALLY not good...and all my refueling sites are now BEHIND me...REALLY, REALLY not good...

I can't go IFR because of the no autopilot thing. I can't land because the closest available airport is covered in fog. And I'm running out of gas...REALLY, REALLY, REALLY not good...and it's night...

So I'm sitting there, sweat rolling down my back (remember - its December...) thinking "ok...now what?". Then I felt this warmth. I looked over at the co-pilot's seat and there you were. (Seriously, dude, you know how to make an entrance...). You smiled and pointed to Reconfiguraton Unit. Of course...the RCU!!!! What the hell was I thinking?!?!?! A quick flip of a knob and - BAM! The AHRS is back on line, along with the autopilot. Then the GPS showed the headwind decrease to almost calm.

I landed at Allegheny County Airport with exactly 20 minutes of fuel left. I landed on the dolly and proceeded with the shutdown checkilst. And then I look over and there you are again...grinning from ear to ear...

I am never alone when I fly, even when I think it's just me in the cockpit. You are, always have been, and always will be, the best co-pilot I could ever have.

Thanks...

Dad

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love / You Are (love)
  The face of innocence and of love...
What a beautiful face you have. I can just feel your little cheeks. I wish that I could kiss your cheeks and stroke your hair. You loved to have your hair stroked when you were trying to go to sleep at night. I wish that I could have done that every night of your short life.
I'd tell you over and over again how much I love you and how precious you are to me. 
I love you so much, so very much, forever and always
Mom
oh my sweet Nic, I miss you. Close

Special times sharing your music  / Mom

For some reason I've been thinking about the times when you shared your music with me. 
I would walk in the door from work or you would pop over and either way I needed to hear a particular song or rift or an entire cd.
It could have been first thing in the morning or midday on weekends, or in the evening any day of the week. If I was taking a nap you'd come in, wake me up and say "Mom, listen to this!". How could I resist.
Usually it was on a Sunday afternoon. Sunday was our special day. I dreaded Sundays for many many months after your death. I'm still trying to cope.
We would sit down on the couch together, you'd put one of your cd's on and we would sit and listen, together. Sometimes you'd play a guitar rift, drum solo or a backround piece over and over again for me. I'd listen to it with you until I got it. Every now and then it would be a lovely lyrical vocal piece, which always took me by surprise considering the cd that we were usually listening to.
One Sunday during a midday nap, not long before you died, you wanted me come and listen to something, I'm not sure what, because I was too lazy or tired to come and listen. I said "I'll be up in an hour or so...". 
I vividly remember thinking at the time "we have the rest of our lives to listen to music together, I just want to finish my nap". 
I remember thinking this with a tickle in my heart, a big "YAY" because you and I had become so close again and we would be doing this forever.
I can very clearly see you standing in the doorway of my bedroom with your sweet smile. You kind of rolled your eyes and said "fine" I said "I love you" (in a lazy muffled voice) to which you replied something like "uh huh, love you too" and then you left.
I don't know why I am thinking of this right now. We had other Sunday's before the accident. I guess it's the fact that I took our time together for granted. That your visits on those precious Sunday's were what I looked forward to every week...that they will never be again. 
I keep wondering how I would be feeling right now if I didn't have those Sundays with you and your music, once upon a time.

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My beautiful son (revised 9/17/2006)  / Mom

Nic,

I watched the video of you the other day and was brought to my knees. I became so overwhelmed with emotion. There was heartbreak and and there was love...especially, there was love.

God Nic you were so beautiful. Every inch of you.  I couldn't stop watching your hands. You could fix anything with those strong hands and yet they were so tender almost caressing with the guitar. Even your arms that were so strong and toned, covered by your uniquely creative tattoo's.  I miss your arms! 

I miss your thick head of beautiful hair and thick long black eyelashes that every female would love to have. The manly curve of your face, everything about it becoming so handsome. The unbelievably winning smile that could light up anyones world that you focused it on. 

And then those eyes, those penetrating dark brown, almost black, eyes, that could see the truth in anything. You helped me to see the truth in so many situations. 

And when you were feeling silly there was that knowing twinkle in your eyes that lightened all of our hearts because we knew that Nic was at play, and we would watch and we would enjoy...your humor, god I miss your sense of humor. 

Nic, you could brighten even the darkest situation just by being you. This was your special gift. You could always point out the rainbow to me while I was focusing on the rain. Who's going to point out the rainbow?

Then we all saw your talent as we watched you play. Grandma Mary was able to see it in full bloom for the first time and she was very impressed. You made it look so easy as if you were born with a guitar in your hands. 

This special gift from Jason and Brian will be with us forever. (I cannot thank you two enough!)

My handsome young son. Such a  perfectly beautiful young man who will always be my precious baby boy, always.

I don't understand, I'll never understand why you were taken away from us. You had so much to offer...I'll never understand...ever.

Nic, I miss and love you so much, I'll love you forever and ever and ever!

Mom

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Two years today  / Jeremy Lawton (Friend)
It was two years ago today that everyone lost you.  It still seems like it isnt even real.  There isnt a day that doesnt go by that i dont think about you and wish things would have turned out differently that night.  I miss you man, and will always miss you and think about you everyday.
Jeremy Close

We still miss you...  / Dawn Tish (Aunt)
Nic,

It's been a long time since I've visited this page. It's the only way I can visit you, since I live a long way from Wisconsin. I know I wasn't a big presence in your life, and there were a lot of reasons for that. I always thought there would be more time...a lot of time.

But time was cut short. I suppose you completed the mission you were sent to this world and into this life to accomplish. You were called back to your home base and you had to obey that summons.

I know how many lives you touched and the loving and wonderfully joy filled way that you touched them. No one can ask for a better legacy than that. You brought joy and happiness and laughter and love into the hearts and lives of everyone who knew you, and even vicariously into the lives of some who never had that honor.

Thank you for being part of our family, part of our lives and part of my journey on this planet. You are in a place now where you can be with your grandmother Bev, and Great Grandmother Esta, and so many others who also touched our lives and then moved on. I know that you are probably playing your beloved guitar and making them all shout with laughter and joy as you continue to be your irrespressible self. I hope that never changes...

Just know that there are those of us...many in fact, who continue to love and miss you that are still in this life and struggling with this journey. Stop in on your parents every now and then to reassure them you are OK. Let your sister know it too. Your grandparents could probably also use some soft whisper in their ears of reassurance as well.

We love you. We miss you. What more is there to say?

Aunt Dawn Close

Air Harp  / Ronald Tish (Uncle)
Aloha Nick, I thought I had written something for Aunty Boots and I to you and left it on your memorial site that your family designed for you ol buddy, but I couldn't find it on my revisit to your memorial. I am so sad that we didn't have more time to spend together, but the time we did spend together was precious, and will live in my soul forever. I have thought of you often and know you are in a better place. I know that your family misses you a great deal, and their hearts are heavy with the loss caused by your premature earthly death. I empathize greatly with them, but must trust that God has something greater now for you in his plan. If you can, please send them a whisper of reassurance that things are ok with you now. With your direct connection to the father of us all, perhaps you and HE can help ease their pain. I do have a favor to ask of you. The turmoil covering the earth these days in many areas is not good. Perhaps you can assist us in bringing peace to the world. Help our enemies and ourselves, as we face each other on the battlefields, to envision the soul and heart in each other, and help us come to the conclusion that we need to stop the hatred and bloodshed, and live and create an eternal peace here on earth until we meet again in the presence of OUR FATHER! I suppose you have traded in your air guitar and are playing rock harp in the big band now. Do you folks do requests? Please give my thanks to the Big Band Leader for all our blessings, and know that you were truly one of those many blessings in our earthly lives. May God bless you my dear nephew and keep you forever in his comfort. Aloha nui loa, Uncle Ron and Aunty "Boots" Close

Hey Buddy...  / Dad (Dad)
Hey

It has been awhile. Sorry about the dry spell.

I visit you often. I stand there, staring at your name etched into the black granite and I can still hear you laugh. I can see the twinkle in your eyes as you crack some goofy joke, knowing that I will laugh - even if it's only because of the way you would screw up your face.

I stand there, knowing you were, and still are, a bright and shining light in my life and I can still feel you in all that I do.

I stand there, knowing that I will lay next to you some day. 

I miss you, Nicky. I will always miss you. 

Dad Close

Thank-you / Joellen Bingaman (friend)
Dear Nic,
I never got to know you but I've known your Father for years..I see his smile in your glowing face and can feel his heavy heart. Thanks Nic for coming here to be his son...He needed all the help he could get, right??!!!!
I know you enriched his life as only a child can do. You have done your job on earth, now do your job in Heaven..take care of your Dad and family because they need you now more than ever....what??..did you think you were gonna just hang around up there????!!!!!
Get with it Dude, your work isn't finished!!!
Keep smiling Nic so things will be a little lighter here on earth and talk to your Dad once in a while...keep him straight and strong..and let him know you've got his back. You two will be together again someday so don't let him be forgetting that. Thanks for being my friend's son and giving him so much love. 
Your Friend
Jo Close

Miss you  / Kassandra And Mike (friends)

The other day we were sitting around at home thinking of everything and everyone that made us laugh to the point of wanting to cry and nic's name happened to pop up and we were talking about all the times he came over to hang out and play pass out with us. The one memory that stuck out the most was we were all outside at dan and sally's and all of a sudden you got up and ran straight into the pole and fell over and got up and all you had to say with a confused look on your face was "well when the hell did that get there" of course we all knew that you knew it was there, but the fact of the matter was that it was the highlight of the night. In fact you were the highlight of many nights. We feel bad that it took us untill now to put something on here but we wanted to remember you as if you were still here. But you will always be in our hearts and souls and in our thoughts each day. Well till we meet again! 
Kassandra and Mike

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From all of us  / Sally &. Dan Bjordahl (Friend)
Nic,  I was thinking of the times we all sat outside and the funny things you did to make everyone laugh.  I miss you playing guitar more than anything.  And the party where you put the cup under Kassandra's chair how we all laught at you.  I think the my heart hurt more when I heard you died the look on everyones face that you were gone will be remembered forever . We miss you and love                                                   
                                                            Dan & Sally. Close

forever / Erik Bjordahl (friend)
We are all still thinking of you everyday.  Thank you so much for being a friend and coming over to jam on the guitar.   I miss those times so much.  Close

A year ago  / Jeremy Lawton (Friend)
A year ago yesterday a good friend was taken from everyone that knew him and he is missed very much.  I will never forget the night you left us and I will never forget you.  Just so everyone knows I do not blame Nic for what happened and I could never be mad at him.  It was an unfortunate series of events that night and everyone's life has changed because of it.  I am basically back to normal but Nic will always be gone and I hate that fact.  I would change anything to get him back.  Close

hey guys  / Bryan Hitchcock (Best Friend )
hey buddy it's been a year now. I miss you soo much. there hasnt been a single day where i havent though of your goofy ass (lol). im doing great with my new job as a boilermaker and i know you have helped me along the way, guiding me making sure im doing the right things.im glad your family enjoyed those priceless movies that we had of you in your special moments(playing the guitar). why cant you walk throught that front door one more time for me and and tackle my dog like you always did? that was the funniest shit ever. well buddy im gonna go now.peace out.


thank you so much for being my friend nic. and thank you scott and kim for having nic in our lives. Close

i miss ya  / Paul Jacobson (Friend)
miss having you here nick. you never knew it but you tought me the love of rock. and the love of a 12 string guitar. i miss hearing you play it. enjoy your big jam in the sky. Close

Happy Birthday  / Dad (Father)
What can I say that others have not already said? You are always in my heart and soul. Your smile still lights up my life and your laugh still makes my heart soar.

I miss you Nic. I miss the things that will never be. I miss the way I felt when you walked into a room, the way your grin would be infectous to everyone you met, the way you stood tall and proud.

I am proud to call you my son and prouder yet to be called your father. You are and always will be the very best son any father could ever hope for - a son who not only knew how to love, but showed me how to love as well.

Happy Birthday, Nic

Dad

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I miss you  / Grandma Mary (Grandmother)
There isn't a day goes by that I am not warmed by your memory, but filled with sadness at your loss.  I will love you forever, Nic, my beautiful, spirited, witty and talented grandson. Close

The Broken Chain  / Dad (Father and Friend )
We little knew that morning that

God was going to call your name.

In life we loved you dearly.

In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you, 

you did not go alone;

for part of us went with you,

the day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories, 

your love is still our guide, 

and though we cannot see you, 

you are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken

and nothing seems the same,

but as God calls us one by one,

the chain will link again.
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An ode to my grandson Nic  / Neal/Mary Ann Tish (grandpa/grandma tish )
Twas a very special day in 83;
My heart was full of Joy.
My first Tish grandson was born that day;
The phone call said: "It is a boy!!"

Nic was quite a trixster as he grew up;
We joked and laughed and played.
We had a special bond you know;
With combs and games those days.

Nick was such a special man
He knew just what to do;
To make you smile and laugh and love;
And he played the guitar too.

Nic worked hard and did his job;
Had many friends along the way.
God loving and self giving;
And lived life every day.

God called him home one special night;
He is in a special place you see;
God needed Nic for an Angel job;
To watch over you and me.

Nic - rest in peace and comfort now.                  you will always be in our  heart. 
We will see you again one day.
Then we will never part.

Granpa and Grandma Tish

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The other night  / Kristin Hinz (cousin & friend )

You were in my dream the other night and it was like our good times.  When I woke up I tried so hard to fall back asleep so I could get to that place again.  Then I realized, I can't go back to that place and neither can you.  The only place I can go is forward.  The only thing I can do is live, and I do with your memory right there with me every step of the way.  It's been rough but we're doing it.  These things take time.  Sometimes forever.  But when forever comes for me, I know I'll have a hell of a crew waiting for me.  I miss you Nic.   

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